The terrible twos

It's not only once or twice that Shiela pinched,kicked and slapped me.That's when she's doing something that we adult know that it isn't good.As they've said,children don't know danger,so be it.But they of course know what they're doing.Shiela's unacceptable attitude has been blamed to me by her father.It's because he said,I am spoiling her.That I shouldn't get too close to her whenever she acts funny or that I shouldn't be too giving.

He could be right at some point but there are just two options here.It's either you stop her through a fight or you go called flight!You will feel like a loser if you just go,better understand her wish.I know parents of toddler understand what I am saying.She used to be a very good baby since birth.I guess because today,she knows what she wants and she talks too.

Cookbooks,they're sleeping!

I have to say that I love eating!

I honestly would loved to be as productive as I can be with regards to preparing healthy and delicious meals. I got 4 recipe books and 3 from sister in law.I also got "Babies First Foods" that I intend to get for Shiela but never did I tried once.The only book that I had foods prepared is the Filipino recipe book that I carried when I flew here. It was where I learned to cook chicken curry,bake banana cake,ensaymada,empanada(where church members loved when I had them shared with them on a bring and share evening),cassava cake and many others.

Does that simply means that I am simply a Filipino and any other foreign or western or oriental foods are impossible for me to do? Or even African? I have rice almost every meal that shocked my SIL."Are you not fed up or satiated by eating rice everyday?",she asked. But what we all do?

Shadows!

Shiela's...

We went out early yesterday to attend the Sunday service at St.Andrew's Presbyterian church.The service was at 10pm and since we are a bit farther now,I decided to get up at 6am and prepared myself first before Shady and Shiela could get up.It's our routine that when Shady is off from work to always meet some friends at church after the service.But yesterday was a special one because we were also invited for a barbecue to a friend's house.There were just the 5 of us,the couple and my family.

But before all that,because we arrive too early about 45 mins before the service,we decided to take a stroll in Blackrock Park.There were just the 3 of us wandering around.It was really early.All we could see are some people taking their dogs out for a fresh sunny morning walk.And above are Shiela's photos with her shadows,we could barely have them here in Ireland...

A real surprise!

I seldom visit my bravejournal blog Wonderful Life these days since I really have nothing to update there until today.I read a comment there in one of my posts about an abusive father.I felt for the commenter because she herself has been abused by her own father resulting for a paralysis.

If you wanna know the Community Blog that I am talking about please visit http://kmunity.bravejournal.com,you can see featured blogs there,for sure you will find yours.They are helping us drive more hits to our blog.I hope you'll do,I am very grateful for the honor they've done to me.

Im happy for what I got!

Yeah, I got a husband that is so emotional, caring and understanding! Except that he always get shocked and panic every time something that isn't quite good happens.

It was Sunday when I decided to go to the city and visit the church where most of the Filipino worships. I already feel something different in my body, which sometimes happened so I didn’t stop going ahead of my plans. I don't know of the mass schedule, not sure of the exact location but I know the street going there. With my head that started to ache badly, I still went farther, so hot that day which I thought triggers the pain. Until I found the place and got inside. It was only a chapel so I doubt that there's nothing going on in there until I heard "Kordero ng Dios" sang by of course my fellow men and women. Tears fell down from my eyes as I couldn't believe how I missed the moment of being at home.

I was late so I stood just besides the door singing with them. And ouch my head ached that I couldn't stare at anyone. I was afraid for Shiela.What if I collapse and they will take me to the hospital, where will Shiela be? Now that kidnapping is common and that nobody knows us? I kept holding on, the mass ended and I met 2 Filipino priests and an Irish priest who welcomed me. He spoke Pilipino and Cebuano, can you believe that? I then went out and there I feel very bad. I felt like I am somewhere else, nag lutaw sa kahanginan.I sat down beside a shop. Brave that I am, I stood up and headed to a bus stop. Then the bus came and there I started throwing up. Lucky enough I have a plastic bag with me, I threw everything there, stinks of course yuck sorry. I called Shady and gush he started panicking. He got no choice. Home is 30 minutes away. The bus passed me by and I have to wait for few more minutes for the next bus. There again, I vomited, and again and again. People who saw me might think that I am pregnant but nahhhh I just had a miscarriage come on! Shady waited for us at the bus stop close to the house and thought of calling an ambulance. I know my body. I know that I needed to lie down...the saga continues until I slept and got up feeling fine! How long is this?

My ideal bed...

I got this from daft.ie. It's a property website where we found the apartments we'd been living in.This bedroom is my ideal/dream one.If only we can afford the monthly rental for this I guessed I was the first to call for a viewing appointment. It's just twice much higher than our budget,maybe when I got money to build a house in the Philippines I want it to be like this.

I am now saving cent by cent.Hopefully I can save up to a million pesos, by that time then I will living in my dreams hikhik...

I can see it in her face..

When we were in grief because of our 2nd baby's loss,I can also feel and see it in Shiela's face.I know she also understands that Mom and Dad wasn't feeling good those days.I asked Shady hours before I was put to sleep for the D&C to take us a snap for my sake,gush.And this is how Shiela looked...



There are still lots of chances for us to have more babies so no more worries now.It has been on my part because I am the mother.

That time again!

I am enjoying my time off from my toddler.Hubby is off duty and now it's his turn to understand Shiela's tantrums.They are at the moment bonding and playing with a ball.I can't just imagine why Shiela suddenly turns from a happy to just being silly mood.Funny is it?

Well,that's the first bonding they have at the photo.Hmm,we should be very excited by now since this is supposed to be my third(3rd),only if I didn't miscarry,huh!

Out yesterday for some check ups!

I can't imagine that I was hooked up yesterday in the hospital for almost 3 hours.I had an appointment with our doctor in the afternoon and he then referred me to the hospital for something.It's because I was tired and he suspected an infection.

Oh gush,I was waiting in the emergency room from 5pm thinking that I can still make up with some shopping.That "emergency room" isn't really for an emergency case.From the word emergency,the hospital staffs or healthcare professionals should be able to attend to you in less than an hour!There was a pregnant lady who I thought had trouble with her pregnancy.As soon as she arrived there she tired knocking.I said somebody's IN and she has nothing to do but wait.Maybe if you opt for private care then you will be attended whenever you wish.

Anyway,everything here is free.They don't asked a cent for their services.I also have the prescriptions for free.We are a medical card holders and that entitles us to a free medical service...

Loving her POOH bottle

We succeeded weaning Shiela from my breasts to a beaker.But my problem is during night feeds that she has to get up completely to drink the milk as the beaker drips so fast that she's afraid she can't handle the flow.So we decided to buy her the POOH feeding bottle with a teat.But it seems that Shiela is loving it that she is forgetting to ask for my breasts and that she demands for the milk in a bottle now.Everytime I give her the milk she says,hehey as hurray.Pooh's arms were raised as printed on the bottle,it's me who told her that pooh was saying hurry because he's happy.She picks up what I said easily.

At the moment,she can only manage up to 5fl.ozs.I guess that's the reason why she's looks really small for her age though people say that she's big.I am happy anyway because her size makes her more energetic and active.Thanks GOD!

Like mother,like daughter!

You Are Totally Like Your Mom

You and your mom are practically clones. You think alike, and you even seem to read each other's minds. You're definitely you're mother's child... and that's just fine with you.

Are You Like Your Mom?

People say that I really resemble my Mom,not only the look/s but the attitude.She has a great sense of humour and that people love to mingle with her,I guess my friends do the same too.We are not friends(literally) before,I respected her so much that I am afraid of admitting anything I find embarrassing or petty.But all those things changed when I got married.

It's her now that I can tell everything happening here.Before even flying here,we played cards together and sit the whole day together.Though there are times that I don't feel like making fun with her in front of friends.Our friends were my Aunts where we also have great fun together.Oh my,I miss her now.I don't remember hugging her even.When I bid goodbye 2 years ago,she pinched my face instead of kissing hikhik...unique!

Ella enchanted!

The night before our wedding...

She's my cousin's daughter Ella Malise.She's Shady's favorite when he was there because of all the kids around,it was only her who talked to Shady and called him "Kuya Shadrack".She also speaks with Shady in English with a little help from her father.I really miss her because I can see some of her attitude in Shiela.She's only 2 years old here but she's just really smart.We asked her to pose and she did it just how we like her to do.

Oh pain...

It's really hard to live far from our family especially when we are in dire need of a helping hand.My husband has everything I need but he has to work for us.That's one reason why I wanted to cry of loneliness the day I felt a very terrible pain.I thought that giving birth is easier than having an operation that no one benefits except the feeling of loss.When I gave birth to Shiela I never felt pain but contentment and happiness,I did it!

I hesitated whether to call home and cry over the phone that I am in pain and that I have no choice but to get up and look after Shiela and feed my hungry stomach.I was dizzy everytime I made an attempt but who knows?Marilyn and her family offered a hand even before I had it but they are farther now than before.She has been so good to me and my family that I realized that she's a dear friend in deed!

My angel

glitter-graphics.com

We should be having our new angel January of next year,but I guessed it's not possible now.Im so sorry for her/him.I supposed s/he understands that sometimes,I am in doubt about my situation.The little big sister needs full attention from Mom and demands nursing almost every minute.S/he gave up,stops to breath and left us 26th of June at aroud 10pm.Huhu,but what can we do?I know that there are still millions of chances to conceive.I am still in my child bearing age.But of course,I need to let this stage of Shiela pass.Hopefully when she is big enough to understand that Mom is having a baby.

The times I asked her where's the baby,inspite of teaching her that the baby is in MOm's tummy,she will still points herself as the baby and says "I"...as I am the baby...hmmm!

Blogging us

We used to get ourselves occupied,but that night we were all occupied doing each computer jobs.Shady as I've said has been watching Cameroonian music through Youtube while I am blogging.Shiela wouldn't allow us to have peace of mind that's why we decided to let her join us on the bed in between playing with her computer.There as you see,we are all pretty occupied hikhik...

Excuse me for the blurry outcome,I used Shady's phone to have this moment captured.

Early to bed,early to rise!

We went out early today to clean the church.It's Shady's schedule and I needed to help him because he was sent home early from work yesterday after staying in the hospital for almost four(4) hours.No wonder I was feeling uneasy at home,he decided not to call me while at the hospital and he only came home just when he felt good,he drove home and I was happy,at least he managed it.

He has been cleaning the church alone,he doesn't want me and Shiela to be there because it will only delay him even if I am there to offer a hand.I realized that,if I am on the bed early every night,I wouldn't have troubles to get up early.I even felt I slept to much that by 5am I was already eager to get up to have myself prepared.We only left the house at around 7:26am and arrived at the church an hour after,it was not the distance that took us time,there was also a heavy traffic on the road.

At least,everything is done at an early time...by 12 we are all done,safe back home and went for a nap for 3 hours more,haha.

7 Sundays in a row

It's now the 7th Sunday that I wasn't able to attend the Eucharistic mass(Catholic church).The Church is just 30 minutes drive from here or less than that.I don't know why I am so lazy.In our previous accomodations,the churches are just walking distances.I felt here that I am excluded from all the access of doing what I used to.

We are far from the park where I took Shiela most of the time.I am also far from the shopping centers and from friends.I am feeling more bored here but at peace.It also took my worries away of living with dirty neighbors.The hallways are well kept.The gates are secured and I am feeling okay with the surroundings.

I just wish that someday I can find ways to get rid of this silly behavior.

Long term residency

I went to visit Marilyn and her family yesterday and we discussed so many things including her application for residency.She had it processed some 2 years ago and I can't imagine how slow the process was.Shadrack has his application submitted April of 2007,again a year passed without a feedback from the Longterm Residency Section of the Irish government.

Any other correspondence we have were addressed properly.When we applied for the Child Benefit,they quickly responded and so as the FIS(Family Income Supplement)though it hasn't been approved.I am glad that we are aware of these things.I just hope that sooner they are going to have Shady's residency granted so he will be excluded from requiring the work permit and re-entry visas.Of course,this will extend to my entitlements too.

The first trimester...

I guess since my first trimester is now close to it's end,the cravings are slowly subsiding.After a few days of eating foods that my taste buds asked,I now felt contented.

I bought a box of crabs last week and slowly consumed it because I couldn't just eat it all at once.I also got "Mama Sitas sinigang mix",frozen green jackfruit,soy bean curd(miso) and a pack of sliced fish.You guess what I did to all these ingredients,you won't be drooling that much hikhik.You know,if my taste bud ask for something and has it fed,I won't be asking for that over and over again,that's the good thing.I have myself contented and hopefully I won't be having difficulties again,except for foul smells.

I went yesterday to a friend's house because they invited us.She cooked "binignit"(a native delicacy in the Philippines)and we shared it with two more friends.Indeed I felt at home.We didn't see each other for 2 months and she was amazed to see me loose weight and so are the rest!I don't feel that I lose weight,only that I feel lighter.Anyway,I really hope that the craving stage is gone.

Siren every where,every minute

I mentioned in my other blog Wonderful life that the rules of the road here has changed.We knew it even before we got the car and hoping that soon Shady will be able to sit for his driving test and pass it,fingers cross.

At this moment in time,I can hear siren.I don't know if it's the ambulance or the police chasing violators.It is today that they set up some check points to see if drivers are complying with the law being set.Shady is at work but he's on his bike.The car is safely park,how long?It will gonna take it months to be there.Well,we are hoping that his schedule will be here soon.